Our family lost my beautiful aunt Janet this week.
She fought a courageous almost four-year battle with the beast glioblastoma and in it showed us even more depth to her already obviously strong character. Jan was one of those people who was the glue in so many relationships; she connected with people and saw them for who they truly were. She invited you to share who you were to your core, and in that forged bonds with others that were just so… real.
For me, I always felt close to her, from childhood through adulthood, but it was during my divorce in 2010 and 2011 that she wrapped me up in love and became one of my closest confidants as I navigated a new path that she and my aunt Joan compassionately walked with me. There were so many tough moments and talks and she was a person I could bounce anything off of so that we could lay to rest the untrue assumptions that we all seem to sometimes make about ourselves and our lives.
She was always quick with a “Come on over!” and an invite to sit and chat over a meal, a coffee, a wine, or to come along with her running errands or working out. I can’t fully describe how much that meant but that invite and open door was a welcome comfort I will never forget. We really figured some stuff out in those talks—things I will always hold with me that changed my overall outlook.
We navigated dating again for both of us at the same time. And, wow, that was some bonding. We laughed a lot and kept some high standards—both happily finding love and marriage again. She was there to hold my hand through all of that. During this time Jan started using the phrase “Love in its finest form.” I’d never heard that said or thought about love within that framework—l had been fairly simplified I realize on the concept of love and it’s many forms.
Something good would happen in a relationship and Janet would say, “You know what that is, don’t you?”
Me: “ …No..?….”
Jan: “That’s love in its finest form.”
It’s profound when you think of it and doubly so when you start looking for it in life. Jan was joyous when anyone else could see it. It made her light up to talk about love like that.
She battled a beast of a tumor that raged against her body, and she did it quietly and prayerfully. She was also sad, angry, frustrated, and frightened at times by the circumstances she found herself in. But she lived through it so authentically. She did this in truly sharing her life. She was willing to be real. She didn’t hide—instead Janet fought hard. And she chose love over frustration, over fear, and regrets. She chose to live out love in its finest form. And she invited it in all of those who knew her. To be with her was to experience it.
The day before she left us she whispered, “O Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything.” It was from the Novena of Surrender to Jesus Christ. Joan put it on the TV and we listened to it and she was entirely peaceful—we all were. I can’t fully grasp all of surrender yet if I’m honest, but she was teaching us even in that moment what faith truly is, and how that connects to love.
Janet will be forever missed. I am thankful that we will hear her voice in our minds and see her beautiful face in the many pictures that have been taken through the years. And we will also see her show up in all of us, because she left so much with us in the way that she poured into us all. In one of our last chats I told her that SHE was love in its finest form.
I know now that she is joyful and living in love, and that’s what she’s always been meant for. But none of us wanted to live in a world without Janet, so we will always tell her stories and we will always keep learning about the truth of surrender, faith, and love—all in their finest forms. I know she would love that.
*Thanks Anna Fonke for the many wonderful photos.
*After I shared this on social media I decided to also keep it here as well because ultimately this place is all about love and joy. And she should be anywhere that is.
