When I decided it was time to horse shop, it felt at first like it was going to be fun, but I turned it into a job as my Type A self is apt to do. That’s also what happens when you take on a belief that you’re behind and you need to catch up. I don’t recommend buying into this by the way–it’s very time-consuming and wasteful brain fodder, not to mention laborious… But at that time, I was keenly aware of the fact that I had goals and that they were not being reached. Sometimes, time feels incredibly finite when considering my dreams and how fast the years have gone. And it’s easy to get fixated on that. Luckily, I had help talking through what I needed in another dressage partner before I ran with an idea and got too busy in the wrong direction.
The day I met a tall-drink-of-water-chestnut-gelding in Aiken, I wasn’t sure what to think. He was much more impressive in person to me than his video had shown, and he was incredibly friendly. But he also did some super interesting things under tack that I admit I wasn’t sure what I thought about them. For one, he was long and narrow, which rode differently than most horses I’ve had. (Now I absolutely LOVE this. It’s much easier for my shorter legs!) He also had some quirks that I was a bit perplexed by. He was a bit mouthy, crooked in his body, and almost too keen to please, which bordered on anxiety. The Seller’s Agent, Pippa Moon (I can’t recommend her more highly), said he didn’t test ride well—that he was much more a one-person type of horse, so I had to consider that, too. But I liked him. And that meant a lot to me that my heart was tugging in his direction.
I was correctly advised by the wonderful and wise Candy Allen Dressage Coach and Pep-Talk-Extraordinaire that I should try him more than once before I decided what to do. Candy helped me by lending her expertise in many conversations about what to look for, and she graciously agreed to be my eyes on the ground during this process. I ended up riding him three times, and by the last time, I felt an undeniable peaceful feeling for lack of better descriptors… I truly just felt a heaping dose of peace, and I found that noteworthy for me, especially. On that last ride at Pippa’s lots of things were happening: it was SUPER cold and windy, horses and vehicles were coming and going, and here was this horse choosing to be more interested in finding out what I wanted than being distracted by the very distractible environment. I also had to laugh at how much he clearly loved people. While discussing him in the barn aisle after that ride, I felt that someone was watching us…. and it was a tall redheaded gelding staring at us like a herding dog the entire time. Not with a fearful stare, but a look of wanting to be in the mix. He was so endearing with how much he loved Pippa, which was a great sign in my opinion—he got attached to his people and clearly had a great experience with her. To me this was obvious because he was so focused on making sure he got all the attention he needed from her. It was very cute.
We had a full Pre-Purchase Exam (PPE) and then purchased this sweet kid. His registered name is Sir Corazon, a nod to his sire, Sir Donnerhall II, so I attempted to give him a barn name with an S or a C. I finally settled on Shiloh, especially when I learned it meant “tranquil” in Hebrew. That fit him immediately and matched the peacefulness and security I felt each time I was in his presence.
He came to us at the end of January, and we’ve slowly built a relationship based on his own timetable, not mine. It’s funny how things happen that way in life, and it teaches me exactly what I need. He didn’t come to me having had a real dressage “job” yet. He’d done some of everything, but this dressage conversation was somewhat new to him. Since he is narrow, long, and a bit crooked (aren’t we all?), the tack fit took longer than I would have guessed. But months later, after getting to know him much better, I could see that he was telling us what he needed—I just also needed to learn how to listen to him. Horses all communicate in their own way, just like people do, and I had to learn what his way was. We got him the tack he needed, started getting regular bodywork, and ultimately eased into the right training for him. And now, 7 months in, I can genuinely say that he’s much more confident using his body and eager to please without being anxious in the ask. These are all baby steps and are all so incredibly worth taking the time it’s taken! I also can’t thank our vet, Dr. Cameron Boggs, enough in helping us every step of the way from the PPE consult, to the bodywork, assessments, and treatment for his body. I’m so thankful we have Dr. Boggs in our lives, and we always know he has the horse’s best interest at heart, above all else.
And to bring it full circle, the irony of my initial rush being slowed and completely converted to Shiloh’s pace isn’t lost on me. I needed his steady roll rather than my driving goal orientation. His tranquil and settling demeanor also needed time to blossom in a new partnership. I needed to let go of old “Am I going to be good enough?” questions and feelings of failure that I was still sorting through with Dahlia’s sale. And this all takes time. We also needed to stock up on good, accessible experiences for both of us. One thing I think about when I’m standing on the mounting block is I look at the saddle and think, “That’s my seat.” Just that feeling of knowing exactly where I’m supposed to be—like when I was a kid, and I knew exactly where I would sit every day at lunch or on the bus ride home from school. Instead of wondering how it’s going to go, I decided to focus on the thought that this is where I’m supposed to be. Because in that being my seat, it also expands my understanding that I am where I need to be in THIS space with THIS horse. And it’s been good for my soul. Goals can’t be the only things that drive. I love horses because I love everything about them and how I feel around them, not solely for what goal they reach with me. It’s been a good reminder. So with all this in mind, here’s Shiloh!
I look forward to everything he will continue to teach me, and I feel completely grateful to have him in my life. More to come…!
